Figuring Out Where I Fit In

Spread the love

fittinginI did a little homework in the blogosphere before I started this blog. There are a staggeringly high number of blogs dedicated to those deep in the throes of trying to conceive using any and all methods. Just check out cyclesista to get a sense of the community.

Most classify their blogrolls with some variant of “Hoping, Trying,” “Two Pink Lines” and “On the Other Side.” You get the drift. I’m still in the sisterhood, but I don’t see a category for those who, for lack of a better descriptor fit this billing: “Biologically Impossible (but I tried, really really hard).”

Yes. I’m a bona fide infertile (but still vital, youngish and otherwise healthy). As such when I’m surrounded by fertile myrtles I experience ostracism the likes of which are hard to describe. While painful, I’ve developed coping strategies like discreetly withdrawing when my colleagues gather around and launch into “top this” stories about their little ones.

In these early days of blogging I can’t help but wonder if I might experience ostracism of a different sort now that I’ve moved away from the modern day equivalent of the “Kremlin watch” – the cycle watch.

I sent out a few exploratory notes to fellow bloggers asking to be considered for their blogrolls. My hope is to be included in this active community.  Who wants to be a misfit all over again?

So, you can imagine my delight and relief when I opened my email to find an almost immediate response from the keeper of Me the Bumblebee.  She was kind and empathetic.  Her support and acknowledgement contained a powerful message of inclusion. What a wonderful woman. I wish her only success in her quest.

7 comments

  • Hi Pamela, I hope you had a lovely Valentines celebration. I’m sure you’ll get lots of support here from everybody. You’ve definately come to the right place.

  • Welcome to the blogging world! I, too, was shocked at the number of women writing about their infertility. The support is amazing. Yeah, that Bumble is a good girl!

  • Super-Mommy

    Welcome to the blog-o-sphere! I struggled with IF – PCOS in particular for many years, and by some miracle ended up a mom. It really didn’t win me an instant membership into the mommy club though, and I struggle everyday to try to “fit in.”

  • Kel

    You are absolutely welcomed! I think it’s valuable to read about women in ALL phases of living with IF. I’ve added your blog to my favorites and will check back often looking forward to getting to “know you” better.

  • As you can see, I’m making my way through your archives.

    I just wanted to say that I’m really glad you are blogging even though you have made the decision to stop treatments. In the three years I have been reading IF blogs, there have been many who have made the same decision as you but they often stop blogging after having come to that decision. I think this is a great loss to the IF community because the path you are taking is as valid and as probable a path as any for us infertiles. Certainly, it’s one I keep open and I anticipate I will get a lot out of what you share with us.

  • Bea

    I usually keep my “tried but moved on without a child” bloggers under “hopeful”. I hope they still are – if not of parenting, then of living life in general.

    But I’m always very happy to be told differently!

    Bea