“Birth” Announcement: Silent Sorority
We welcome with relief ….
April 18, 2009
6 inches x 9 inches 13.6 ounces
Joins proud “mother” Pamela M. Tsigdinos and “father” A. Tsigdinos
I think I did that correctly (name, date, size and weight)…I dunno. As anyone who has been here before knows I’ve never actually written a birth announcement. I think I’m supposed to talk about how long the labor lasted (try five years — elephants have nothing on me). And, consider yourself lucky because even though we live in the YouTube era, we didn’t videotape the delivery. Suffice to say there was plenty of grimacing, screaming and hyperventilating throughout the labor.
My next book will be about rainbows and butterflies, something Disney would embrace. Why? Well, I’ve learned the hard way a story pitch that shorthands to “How a (Barren) Woman Gets Busy, Angry, Lost and Found” just doesn’t fit the traditional publishing world’s narrow view of a sale-able book. Here’s the way the past two years played out on the pitch front …
Me: But there’s humor, a love story, some cattiness here and there and plenty of sexual references. Certainly that’s got to be good for something, no?
Publishing world: Well that helps, of course, but … you know what the problem here is?
Me: It’s the use of the “I” word, isn’t it? But I changed it to “barren” — that’s biblical … totally retro, right?
Publishing world: DOES NOT MATTER! If it concerns the “I” of any kind … we are totally allergic, find it all very tedious…
Me: Hang on now, there’s drama, suspense, tears and laughter.
Publishing world: Read my lips … infertility stories of any kind = Kryptonite. And, there’s no baby in your book, right? Well that’s not gonna work. It’s got to end with a BABY!
Me: But you’re missing the point! It’s got an “Indie” film-like ending. Did you know that last book about life after infertility without babies or kids came out in 1989!? That was 20 years ago. A few things have changed. Let’s see, there’s the Internet (that was pretty big), and then the “mommy movement” took shape, fertility clinics popped up on just about every corner…
Publishing world: Oh, so you’re saying the environment, society has changed?
Me: Uh, yeah. Conventional wisdom is all screwed up today. Everyone thinks science will get any infertile couple out of a jam (heard about OctoMom or those 40+ moms on the cover of People — like they didn’t use IVF or donor eggs, gimme a break!?) And, let’s not forget the biggest myth of all … the “freely available” babies ready to be drop shipped to your door (or why not do what Angie does, adopt a kid from every country as though it’s as easy as picking out a souvenir at the airport.)
Publishing world: We gotta have the brain-dead simple mainstream pablum. Our readers don’t like to have to think. Joe the Plumber on Infertility, maybe…
Me: Okay, I’m used to swimming upstream. Furthermore, I’ve been pregnant with this thing for nearly five years. You’ve left me no choice. I will do it my way …
And so, my dear Internets, on the first day of National Infertility Awareness Week, you can order your own copy of Silent Sorority on the ubiquitous Amazon.com.