The new blog name came to me this morning: A Fresh Start
After all, isn’t that what we crave when we’ve come through a gut-wrenchingly difficult experience? Coming2Terms went a long way to helping me realize that women without children after infertility experience tremendous isolation. We often feel like misfits, square pegs trying to fit into round holes. That’s in large part because we don’t have readily available support networks, our own easy-to-locate tribe to turn to following an emotional body slam. For those who go on to parent, there are play groups, the PTA, etc., etc.,
What we bad ass chicks have been lacking is our own space to get a fresh start with new dreams that don’t involve being mothers, complete with private jokes and the finishing of each others’ sentences. I’ve always prided myself on being independent and self-sufficient but I’ve also learned that I’m not a hermit. I enjoy some good old-fashioned “hey, how’s it goin?” moments with those who share a common bond — an emotional tattoo of sorts. Apparently, “participation in social networks” and helping others is essential to happiness. This newsflash came in new findings highlighting that:
“Human beings are in some ways like bees,” Professor Haidt said. “We evolved to live in intensely social groups, and we don’t do as well when freed from hives…one thing that can make a lasting difference to your contentment is to work with others on a cause larger than yourself.”
Professor Haidt has a point. This email, which arrived earlier today, brought some happiness with it:
“Your book (Silent Sorority) was my voice. I was shocked to find women like me—feeling what I feel, saying what I said and crying like I had cried. I had been so wrapped up in my lonely world–I didn’t realize there were so many women out there like me! I belonged to a group—it was uplifting and even empowering. After reading your book, I began to heal. And that is when happiness started to fill my mind, my spirit, my heart and my soul. I am healed? Not yet—but I am closer than I have ever been! So, I look forward to your new blog–where we can share happiness in our lives instead of the sadness!”
So, as I bid farewell to Coming2Terms it seemed fitting to leave as the last post one that I wrote six months ago in my first attempt to close the door and open a window: Barren Doesn’t Mean Empty.
Now all you Barren-Nesses…bring your liberating moments, your black and other assorted colors of humor, and your all-around sassy, special selves over here for A Fresh Start.