Yes, Virginia, There Are Lovely “‘Fertiles” Out There

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M E M O R A N D U M

To: The Fertile Community
From: The Infertile Community
RE: Bridging the Chasm Caused by Infertility

We’re talking about you, and, I confess, it’s not always in a good way. We spend a fair amount of time in the infertility community sharing anecdotes about how little our “fertile” friends, family
and acquaintances “get us.” You give us lots of good material to work with. Just a few days ago, The Wall Street Journal (who would have thought?) had a blog post up, The Swell Season: Haunted by Reminders of Infertility, that provided some examples
of the typical casual dismissals and a few downright, huhs?

For instance someone (clearly fertile) likened infertility to “an allergy that you ‘should just accept’ and move on from…”

Um, I have allergies and I am infertile. So not even in the same ballpark.

And from the woman who had an easy pregnancy, “why shouldn’t I be able to gloat? I was the happiest pregnant woman out there and only gained 15-18 lbs total.”

Is gloating ever a good thing? Heads up, gloating girl, here’s the definition: To feel or express great, often
malicious, pleasure or self-satisfaction.
Now I just hope your son/daughter doesn’t face infertility ’cause I get the feeling you’re not going to handle it very well…

To be fair there were also some comments surmising that infertility would likely be difficult to experience:  “I think that extended infertility and/or the thought that I would never have kids
would be pretty hard to take.” BINGO!

But in this time of brotherly love, I do want to highlight those who DO get us — one couple in particular shared a level of sensitivity and understanding that truly stands apart. They are the
latest recipients of the Coming2Terms Act of Kindness Award. …

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Kind Mom Trumps Mean Mom

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Spread the loveFirst, I’d like to thank Shaz and Loribeth for their shout outs and the Sisterhood Award. In turn, I’d like recognize those who take the time to participate in a meaningful conversation here on Coming2Terms. The comments on the last post are a great example of sisterhood at its finest. Infertile women living in a fertile world know […]

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Shadow Boxing in the Wake of Failed Fertility Treatment

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Spread the loveToday’s post concerns fighting. It’s something I hadn’t thought all that much about until Nancy, a fellow blogger, sent me a package in the mail.  It contained a pair of red boxing gloves. Attached to them was heartfelt verse.  The thoughts that led to the idea took shape right after the new year. That’s when Nancy noted in […]

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Words of Chance, Caution and Kindness

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Spread the loveThe voice of the late 20-something echoed in the ladies room. “I wonder if I’ll be as laid back as Christina when I get pregnant…” When I get pregnant. A casual, off-handed expression of inevitability. It’s what I once uttered with all the certainty and innocence of one who didn’t know any better. “Sure, you will,” came the […]

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