Envy and Equanimity

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Some remarkable milestones to report:

1) I was pea green with envy yesterday, but not for the usual reason (that’s right folks, pregnancy was not involved!) ….

2) A new work acquaintance asked me if I had children and my first instinct was not to throw something at him.

I think both episodes show signs of progress, yes? Okay, the details.

I’ve been working a few days a week at a really interesting startup where the only downside is that it requires 60-90 minutes of drive time each way. Since I abhor long, slow commutes I try to
distract myself with NPR stories. Yesterday’s feature had me wrestling with the ugly green monster.

Why? The guest was a new author talking about her book chronicling her experience, at 37, to freeze her
eggs
. Ah, you say, you envy her the access to a new, promising reproductive technology? No actually, I envied her the slot she scored on NPR’s Talk of the Nation discussing her new book.

I laughed at the realization that I’d graduated from pregnancy envy to book envy. In each case I have had to work harder to get fewer results. You’ve got to admit the parallels are ironic. First, I
couldn’t get pregnant while doing everything required and then some while everyone around me was getting knocked up right and left. And, now, at a time when I finally delivered my book about the hidden tolls of living in an era of designer babies and clinics marketing fertility for all, I’m reminded again that mainstream media
has a fascination with making babies, but they’re less interested in what happens when all the whiz bang technology doesn’t deliver on its promise.

Ah well, I’m getting very comfortable being the Rodney Dangerfield of reproductive technology outcomes (and books about them).

Now, for item numero dos. For years I avoided any and all social and work situations that might land me in the middle of small talk with new people. I was expert at the handshake and run. It was my
way of self protection and a sure fire means of avoiding the evitable question about …

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“Birth” Announcement: Silent Sorority

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Spread the love   We welcome with relief …. Silent Sorority April 18, 2009 6 inches x 9 inches 13.6 ounces 205 pages Joins proud “mother” Pamela M. Tsigdinos and “father” A. Tsigdinos I think I did that correctly (name, date, size and weight)…I dunno. As anyone who has been here before knows I’ve never actually written a birth announcement. […]

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Why Do We Whisper?

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Spread the loveThe restaurant evoked images of what I suspect Tuscany feels like. The sunlight splashed across the tables at midday and the diners on this particular Friday in late summer were lively and noisy — except for moments at a stretch at the table where I sat with a fellow infertile. Not only did she experience infertility hell she […]

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On Overcoming the Infertility ‘Ick Factor’

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Spread the loveSome subjects make us squirm. They’re not part of our comfortable consciousness. We know they exist but, given our druthers, we’d rather avoid than confront them. They suffer from the “ick factor.” Even in 2008, some 25 years after pioneering treatments became available, infertility is one of those subjects. It’s no wonder those of us diagnosed with various infertility […]

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Would You Read This Book? (Updated)

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Spread the loveUPDATED: Would this Silent Sorority book description (distilled with reader input) lead you to pick up the book and crack open the spine? And is the book something you might pass along or refer to relatives or friends who are not steeped in the infertility experience? Silent Sorority© Silent Sorority explores a topic that has been virtually overlooked […]

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Tall, Asthmatic and “Childfree?”

tall
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Spread the loveTall, asthmatic and childfree. These are three attributes that describe me. I didn’t choose them. They chose me. What’s curious is the way society assesses these attributes, especially the last one. I came to this conclusion after reading a few posts this week about the notion of childfree. The first came from Loribeth who makes some compelling arguments […]

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The Year of Radical Thinking

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Spread the loveI had fun creating a play on the book title, The Year of Magical Thinking. Did you know that search engines can deliver on queries like “ words ending in ‘cal‘ “? That just amazes me. So much to choose from here: egotistical; cynical; atypical; skeptical; logical (as if); hysterical (more like it)… A close second was “The […]

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Revealing the Elephant in the Room

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Spread the love Infertility is like the elephant in the room. We all know it’s there but few are willing to acknowledge it. It strikes our sisters and brothers, our sons and daughters, our cousins, our friends, our colleagues and people all around us in the grocery store, the mall, the park. It can affect, in so many ways, the lives of persons […]

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