Finally Heard

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Finally Heard: A Silent Sorority Finds Its VoiceFinally Heard: A Silent Sorority Finds Its Voice is an intentionally short ebook designed in the Kindle Singles model. It incorporates wisdom from ‘Generation IVF’ designed to spark discussion about infertility and the little discussed aftermath of fertility treatments.

Behind the Writing

My life changed after emerging as a reluctant spokeswoman on infertility in 2008. The transformation started when a health reporter from The New York Times asked if I’d be willing to openly discuss my infertility experience. I described the stubborn persistence of the condition and the lack of a cultural framework to process the losses. An accompanying health feature story produced astonishment and relief that someone was candidly addressing the trauma and legacy of infertility.

Soon thereafter I wrote what became an award-winning book called Silent Sorority. In the first memoir on infertility not authored by a mother, my writing explored the complicated, disenfranchised grief and identity issues following prolonged failed attempts to conceive. Now 10 years outside of the grief I once felt so viscerally comes Finally Heard: The Silent Sorority Finds Its Voice (May 1, 2015).

Finally Heard moves beyond the personal to examine the complex inter-relationship of the psychological, social and cultural implications of ‘Generation IVF.’ Today’s cultural preoccupation with parenting and the growing commercial focus of the for-profit fertility industry has birthed a fear-driven patient/consumer population and society ill-equipped to process reproductive failure. Finally Heard makes clear that the disproportionate emphasis on ‘magical thinking’ has bred an expectation of parenthood that makes pushing forward in a different direction seem like giving up rather than succeeding at something truly remarkable: reinvention.

Read early reviews here.

4 comments

  • Sarah

    Hi Pamela,
    I’m Sarah, from Australia, 40 years old and have given up on IVF and facing the battle to accept that it’s not going to happen. I’ve just read your first book, and looking forward to the second one for looking forwards. I wanted to thank you for writing and sharing your life story. I also watched the TV interview, you said something about how we don’t have a cultural framework for infertility and it reminded me of a term I learnt of through my work called disenfranchised grief. You probably know the term, but it fits so well for infertility. There is shame and sometimes judgement attached to infertility, and we don’t publicly or societally validate the associated grief (although thankfully very special individual friends and family may do), and it makes it so much harder to process. It makes for a very complicated grief. Thanks for making it feel slightly less complicated!
    Sarah

    • Dear Sarah,
      Thank you so much for your kind comment. Yes, disenfranchised grief and its impact packs a huge punch. So glad you are now feeling heard and validated. xo

  • Glen

    Speaking of disenfranchised! Oh well, I understand… I’ll carry myself and my pain elsewhere… Sorry to have cluttered up your comments with my heart… Hope your book is selling well…

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