The Double Whammy


Today was one of those days that offered up the one-two punch and just about leveled me. Fortunately, a new reader (Baby Blues) dropped by and her comment led me to her blog which had just the right message for me.  Thanks, Baby Blues. You’re officially on the Blog Roll.

My first indication that today was going to offer up a few challenges came when outrageously painful cramping from my totally useless uterus awakened me at 3:45 am. Two Alleve and 90 minutes later I was still trying to turn off my brain and my pain receptors when mercifully the Alleve took the upper hand. Sometime afterwards I managed to make my way back to slumber land.

Drowsy and still in discomfort later in the morning I stumbled out to find some coffee and a heating pad when my husband reminded me (ever so gently as he knows when he sees me clutching my abdomen and hobbling that I need a little extra TLC), that our next door neighbor had warned him about a little shindig they had planned for the day…can you guess what kind of shindig?

Well, if you’re a woman in monthly distress, fighting the demons that come with the monthly reminder of failure and you’re coming off of a fitful night’s sleep then, if you’re like me, you crave a few small favors: a comfortably padded chaise lounge chair, some light reading or better yet People magazine and a quiet afternoon to soak up some early spring sunshine and, if we’re really fortunate, some dozing to transport your mind elsewhere, yes?

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seriouslyNO! It wasn’t to be because in addition to a pile of work that demanded my attention and creative efforts before a wickedly demanding work week officially begins, I learned that the neighbor’s shindig was nothing less than a three-year-old’s birthday party complete with sugar-crazed screaming toddlers, chirpy moms and dads loudly comparing notes on the joys of seeing their little ones grow up and a bouncy inflatable castle with a mini-generator to keep it inflated.

My peaceful backyard haven, my escape from reality wasn’t going to happen. Instead I slogged through the writing projects that needed attention amid the noisy backrop brought on by a pack of mini partiers while my uterus continued to torture me and the demon on my shoulder reminded me throughout the day that the joyful development next door would have been mine had the last of my IVF treatments worked three years ago. I’m really hoping that tonight brings some much needed mental and physical rest…


5 Responses

  1. Baby Blues

    March 19, 2007 10:51 am

    I’m glad my post helped. It’s amazing how people I haven’t even met in real life are the ones who understand and are able to give me the support and encouragement I need.

  2. Ellen K

    March 19, 2007 1:01 pm

    Horrible cramps while dealing with infertility are the worst. And it is really remarkable how often cramps coincide with a child-centered event. Probably one of the worst days of our infertility was the time my period started a few hours before a friend’s baby shower.

    I hope you are feeling better today. ((hugs))

  3. Deathstar

    March 19, 2007 7:53 pm

    found this today. It’s advice on how to be a friend to an infertile. Kinda funny but so true.

    Couple weeks ago, I tagged along with my husband on a business trip. We talked about infertility a bit, opened up to each other. Then we went to IHOP for breakfast, and of course, babies everywhere. One right next to us just staring at us in that boldfaced curious way that babies have. Later, we decided to go to a comedy club, we needed some laughs right? Well, there were 6 people there, the lead comedian asks the small crowd who was married. Guess what the next question was? And since he was looking right at me, I just said no and hoped he didn’t pursue the matter further. I really wanted to say, no, we don’t have kids, we’re infertile, go ahead and make a joke about that! Next trip we take will be to all all adults resort. I need a freaking break.

    • Pamela Jeanne

      March 20, 2007 2:20 pm

      A: Thanks very much for providing the link to How to be a friend to an Infertile. The author totally nailed it. And I hear you on wanting to be somewhere else sometimes…

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