Let’s Roll Out the Virtual Red Carpet


IIFF_LOGO_smallA big thank you to Bea and all who have taken the time to organize and promote the Second International Infertility Film Festival. As a complete novice in this medium, it’s clear looking at my end result that Martin Scorsese and Steven Spielberg can rest easy (and yes, I’m planning to keep my day job).

My entry for the screening, which starts today under the theme “seasons,” is the tale of an unrealized dream. You can hit play below, however, those of you who are feeling emotionally fragile may want to wait until a future date to view my submission. The title should give some sense of what’s coming: Infertility: Seasons of Hope and Despair.  I selected Tracy Chapman’s song, The Promise — a haunting melody with lyrics that always brings tears to my eyes — to accompany the images.

I welcome your thoughts and, as always, thank you for your continued support as I try to work through my sorrow and Avoid Cul-de-Sacs.

See also  Unexpected Sanctuary

28 Responses

  1. Jenna

    July 27, 2007 4:09 pm

    What a beautiful song. You did a fantastic job compiling the images to match the melody. Thanks so much for sharing this. Good luck with the voting. I’m sure there will be several people’s choice vote coming your way!

  2. DD

    July 27, 2007 4:56 pm

    That song touched me to the core. And the image of the wall broke my heart. It was beautiful, Pamela.

  3. karenO

    July 27, 2007 5:13 pm

    Beautiful! The video AND the image of you in that dress on the red carpet. 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing this with us!

  4. Lori

    July 27, 2007 5:16 pm

    Oh, Pamela Jeanne, the images are heartbreaking.

    If I cried this much while watching, I can’t imagine what happened to you while compiling.

  5. Susan

    July 27, 2007 6:30 pm

    I started my day with your exquisite “film”. I was in tears by the end. Truly, my friend you have found your calling. What you’re communicating through the blog and now this gem is heartfelt, touching and educational. I hope and believe you will ultimately give up your day job to pursue some side of this major life issue full time. I’ll be here as always, cheering you on. Much love to you…susan

  6. Sunny

    July 27, 2007 6:52 pm

    Absolutely beautiful. You grasped exactly how I feel. I LOVE the song and plan to buy it on iTunes. AMAZING!

  7. Rachel

    July 27, 2007 7:50 pm

    It’s a beautiful film, and the music and images fit together nicely… I’m not sure which image got to me the most, but I think it was the brick wall image. That’s the emotional hiccup I don’t know if I’ll ever get over, i.e., thinking about myself as a dead end… you hold on to that dress, honey. If anyone is going to need it, I think it will be you! Big hug!

  8. raina

    July 28, 2007 1:41 pm

    Made me cry as i am an artist near the end of my own fertility journey. dreading my beta test next week & knowing I only have one more ART cycle left in me. Beautiful sequencing of imagery & “The Promise” was a fitting choice. Birthing art is not the same I know but at least it’s something & be proud of touching others lives via shared experience. I am inspired by you. Thank-you for giving me a way to shed some tears. I needed to. Raina

  9. Bea

    July 29, 2007 6:13 am

    Good choice of song – so gentle and bittersweet. I love the way you’ve created a mish-mash of the ups and downs.


  10. thalia

    July 29, 2007 10:34 am

    It’s a beautiful film, Pamela Jeanne, and very very tough to watch. Was it cathartic or just traumatic to make it?

    • Pamela Jeanne

      July 29, 2007 3:45 pm

      I shed many tears while compiling and creating the final piece. It forced me to address some aspects of infertility that I had buried without working through. So in that sense it was cathartic, too. I appreciate all the kind comments and feel a bit guilty for bringing tears and sad reminders to you all.

  11. Deathstar

    July 29, 2007 7:12 pm

    Just saw your video, Pamela, and as my puffy tummy aches with the impending visit from the Crimson Bitch, my heart aches along with yours. Those shots of the negative HPT tests – ARGH! – how I remember those and the terrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I’ve still got a cache of them under my sink, can you believe it?

    Ohmigod, such a beautiful little film. Thank you so much.

  12. Kami

    July 30, 2007 12:07 am

    As so many have said – it was beautiful. I found myself staring at that negative HPT searching for a very faint second pink line.

  13. loribeth

    August 1, 2007 12:24 am

    Hi Pamela Jean, I’ve been reading your blog for a few weeks now & absolutely love your perspective. My dh & I opted to stop treatment & not adopt six years ago this month. It is also nine years ago this week that I delivered my stillborn baby girl at 26 weeks. Being childless after infertility & loss is a lonely place to be in sometimes — so it’s nice to know that, not only are there others out there in the same situation, but you are giving voice to a lesser-known part of the infertility community. I absolutely loved your video & bookmarked it, & came in tonight to find my dh watching it. We watched the rest of it together in silence, arms wrapped around each other. Thanks for a memorable moment!!

  14. karenO

    August 1, 2007 2:29 pm

    Hey you, hope everything is OK, you’re very quiet! Missing you … take care and rest from this whole blogging thing if that’s what you need, we’ll be here waiting for you 🙂

  15. foreverhopeful

    August 1, 2007 10:39 pm

    I finally got a chance to sit through and see your film. It is so beautiful and it brings tears to my eyes. The images you chose captured so much of the pain and heartaches. Thank you for sharing this.

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