I wouldn’t normally pay any heed to this guy, especially since he’s on the record as a proponent of the “just relax” theory of infertility treatment (which immediately
disqualifies him to offer any further “expert” advice on the subject), but in a recent comment Deathstar pointed out that he’s at it again. In a Dr. Phil column in this month’s O magazine a woman writes about undergoing Infertility and her difficulty being around friends who have children or have become pregnant. He advises that Infertility is happening to her and in short order goes on to dismiss the pain she is in and the support she seeks. His “it’s about you, deal with it” response is simply nothing more than a lazy, patented refrain as far as I’m concerned.
In discussing Phil’s response with my better half, Mr. PJ immediately pointed out the hole in this ‘expert’ logic. Would you ever tell a person suffering from other diseases or painful losses:
“Hey, look, cancer is happening to you, don’t go bringing your downer experiences into our happy world.”
“Sure you may be fighting depression but take joy in the fact that we don’t have that problem. That should lift your spirits.”
“You may have just lost a child but can’t you be happy for the fact that none of us have had to face that. The loss happened to you. Just deal with it.”
In the end those who suffer with any physically or emotionally challenging condition or loss have to learn to cope (what choice do we have?), but it sure is a heck of a lot easier to manage when society doesn’t marginalize us outright.