Magnum Opus Personified



When you’re with someone who is first rate — I mean Grade A, top drawer, Certified Angus, Blue Ribbon winning material you want to see those genes get passed on.  Thirteen years ago I fell madly, deeply in love with the Magnum Opus of men.

While we had already decided we’d spend the rest of our lives together — with or without the paperwork — Mr. PJ was swept up in the possibilities of a new century and popped the question December 31, 1999. I wanted to make an honest man of him and said, “yes.” We chose our wedding date: 2/20/2000 because we liked the number combination and we figured it would be easy to remember when we were old and feeble-minded. I remember thinking what a great love story this would be to share with our children: Daddy in his tux nervously wondering if Mom will take his (complicated, hard-to-spell and pronounce) name and be his wife. My anniversary brings back memories of the hopeful expectations we once had about our children. They would be wonderful mutts — descendants of Greeks, Scots, Irish, Polish and other bits that likely mixed up our gene pool.

We eloped to Hawaii. Our honeymoon started the minute we arrived on the island of Maui. No guest lists to fret over, no rehearsal dinners, no worries about flowers, bands or tussles among the relatives. The only curiosity was being, well, stalked by Pierce Brosnan.  We could not shake that guy to save our lives.  Our first afternoon by the pool at the Kea Lani he sat a few chairs away. As I casually reached for my Mai Tai, I turned to my man and whispered, “I don’t want to alarm you but it appears 007 is casing the joint.” The next day when we went down to the spa for our massages, there he was robed in the waiting area clearly anticipating our arrival. That night while we looked to catch some romantic time on the beach at sunset he showed up with his squeeze. Then they followed us to dinner sitting not far away in the dining room. Clearly he had to work on his unobtrusive shadowing skills. We came this close to telling 007, “look we appreciate why you want to trace our every move, but really, we’re on our honeymoon…”

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But I digress. I’ve been reading blog posts lately that sing the praises of the men in our lives. It’s a recurring theme and it made me realize that the pain of infertility gets magnified when there’s a great love story, a wonderful partner involved. It’s one thing to want your own experience as a mother, it’s another still when you know what a great pater familias your mate would be.

I knew right after I met my guy that I wanted nothing more than to make babies with him. I looked forward to conceiving and carrying his son or daughter, or both. (His father was a fraternal twin after all.) He is without a doubt the smartest, delightfully witty, playful, caring and patient man on earth. He’s proven to me time and time that he is indeed the Magnum Opus of men. I just wish I could have seen his traits live on, to have seen him as the doting dad, ’cause I know he would have aced that role, too.

Looking for the silver lining in all of this, Mr. PJ still lights up my world. What characteristics do you most treasure in your mate?



32 Responses

  1. Ellen K

    February 19, 2008 4:58 pm

    Having seen your DH’s picture, I agree: He’s a keeper! How romantic that you eloped to Hawaii.

    (Excuse me while I wipe drool from my chin after imagining Pierce Brosnan in a spa robe. I think I’ll rent The Thomas Crowne Affair tonight.)

    What I love most about D. is his playful but sometimes dry sense of humor, combined with his passion for “underdog” causes and his tenderness toward his dog, his garden, his city, his niece and nephews, and his wife. An irresistible combination.

    Also, as soon as I saw his green eyes, olive skin, and slim but athletic body, my gene pool buzzer went off. : )

  2. luna

    February 19, 2008 5:08 pm

    happy anniversary! we fantasized about eloping to avoid the drama, but did not. we did spend part of our honeymoon at the kea lani though, sans pierce brosnan. mr. pj sounds wonderful.

    there are many things I treasure in my mate, aside from knowing what a great dad he’d be. he’s kind, and compassionate. he’s thoughtful and generous and gives from the heart. he’s smart, funny and playful. he has incredible faith in me, always supportive and encouraging, understanding and accepting. and in our many years together, he had the dedication and patience through some pretty rough spots to stick with it when not many would have…

    hope you have a wonderful anniversary celebration! ~luna

  3. Lori

    February 19, 2008 5:23 pm

    What a great post. He sounds like a true treasure.

    As for my hubby: funny, super smart and curious in so many areas, empathetic.

    We are lucky, aren’t we?

  4. Kami

    February 19, 2008 6:14 pm

    What a lovely post. I read it with a smile on my face. I married the LOML (love of my life) on April 7, 2000 after dating for 6 years . . . Seems we have a lot in common.

    My better half is patient, kind, fun, intelligent, supportive, happy. He keeps me going when I feel like giving up. He cheers me up when I feel like crying. I don’t know what I would do without him. He knows all about me and still loves me. He is an expert on Kami and I love him back with all my heart.

    Happy Anniversary PJ! I am so sorry you don’t have children to raise together, but you do have something very rare – a life long partner who can still make your heart sing. Congratulations!

  5. JJ

    February 19, 2008 8:37 pm

    What a truly beautiful post–happy anniversary to you and Mr. PJ! A true love story to celebrate! Cheers to you!

  6. Summer

    February 19, 2008 9:01 pm

    Happy Anniversary, PJ! I bet Mr. PJ feels just as strongly about you.

    There are so many things I treasure about Mr. W. But near the top has got to be his faith in people. I tend to be more cynical than he is about people’s motives.

  7. Deathstar

    February 19, 2008 9:39 pm

    Can I share a secret? I have a several pictures of my husband with other people’s babies in his lap or arms. I love the friends and the babies, but I hate those pictures. Because I couldn’t put his own child in the picture. He has a lot of fine qualities but the one that really stands out is his ability to nurture. He is the only guy I know who would take a day off work just to take care of me when I’m sick. If I have a headache or cold, he runs for the Tylenol, hot water bottle or soup that I need. If I can’t sleep, he holds me til I go to sleep, if my knee hurts, he gets the ice pack, if I’m in pain, I can squeeze his hand til it’s blue. One day soon I hope he gets to soothe a baby’s cry or bandage a skinned knee or provide a shoulder for a sleepy head.

  8. beagle

    February 19, 2008 11:13 pm

    I can’t even believe it!

    We did the same thing, same place, on the same DAY even, but three years after you.

    Happy Anniversary!

  9. kazari

    February 19, 2008 11:22 pm

    does that go without saying? he has a strong idea about what he thinks is good, and right. and he does good things – in his work, in his friendships, in his life. i am always amazed at his commitment to the high road. and his seemingly effortless ability to live a good life, and live well.
    everything else flow from this – his empathy, his ability to talk to anyone, his amazing likeability. and his generosity of time and spirit.

    oh, i’m getting mushy now : )

  10. Maggie

    February 20, 2008 12:35 am

    I am with Deathstar on this one. When I think of most endearing moments, I think of last year’s tonsillectomy. How DH stayed up with me through sleepless, pain filled nights, setting the alarm to spoon feed me peaches and dispense pain pills at three in the morning. And when I tried to ‘quietly’ throw up as to not wake him…he came running. (so romantic…ha ha) He never complained.

    Congrats! Here’s to many more happy anniversaries!

  11. loribeth

    February 20, 2008 1:46 am

    Well, happy anniversary, Mr. & Mrs. PJ! Love your story & the great photo (& I’m green with envy over your close encounters — plural– with 007/Remington Steele!).

    I could ramble on & on about my dh. He’s cute; he’s funny; he loves kids & they love him; he loves books, movies & the Beatles as much as I do; he still loves to learn about new things (the scientist in him) & talks about going back to school when he retires. He carries my briefcase to & from the office every day & calls me a few times a day just to say hello & ask me what’s for lunch. Like Deathstar’s dh, he has been known to stay home with me when I’ve been sick. He adores our nephews, coaches them over the phone on their math homework (reads books about math trying to stay one step ahead of them…!), & goes to visit our daughter in the cemetery on days when he’s off work but I’m not (he’ll pick me up at the train station on those days too, even though the bus drops me off just a block away). Can you tell I think he’s pretty special?? lol

  12. Wendy

    February 20, 2008 2:10 am

    What a wonderful love story and tribute to your husband. I found my prince late in life but he was worth the wait. He’s kind, caring, affectionate, and considerate – not to mention fun to be with! We’re a great team and we feel very lucky to have found each other!

  13. Geohde

    February 20, 2008 7:00 am

    PJ, your other half sounds divine, such a lovely post to read.


    PS. I love that Jackson Browne song in your previous post

  14. Somewhat Ordinary

    February 20, 2008 1:31 pm

    Happy Anniversary! What a beautiful post and picture!

    There are so many wonderful things about my husband that I treasure, but I have to say his sincerity and his giving nature stand out. He is also one of the hardest workers I’ve ever met and I know in that characteristic I will always have a sense of security!

  15. Melanie

    February 20, 2008 3:05 pm

    I loved your post. I’m one of those recent bloggers about my own magnum opus (or at least a very good 97 California cab) of a man. Ironically, I too had a Pierce Brosnan stalking in 2003. We were in the Bahamas and he was filming a movie with Salma Hayek. My magnus opus, actually, was stalking Salma, but Pierce was everywhere. It’s a small world.

  16. DD

    February 20, 2008 4:14 pm

    You two are a very cute couple, as I have also seen proof of it. I would have loved to seen the above picture enlarged…

    Congratulations on your Anniversary. You are a lucky woman, but he’s an even luckier man.

  17. hope548

    February 20, 2008 6:52 pm

    Happy anniversary. I’ve also been singing my husband’s praises lately and I think you’re right, if our men weren’t so wonderful, we wouldn’t want to make babies with them so badly!

  18. kristi

    February 20, 2008 7:31 pm

    Happy Anniversary. IF robs us of many things, but the one thing it cannot take is the wonderful men we have in our lives. Happy Anniversary. Yours is a beautiful love story.

    PS: Beagle sent me over today.

  19. Rachel

    February 21, 2008 5:57 am

    Aw! What a sweet story and lovely tribute. I’m really looking forward to dinner with you two…!

    In my case, humor was a big draw. My man is hysterically funny, and more than once, he has saved a miserable day with a wide range of characters, voices, skits and sketches.

    I have to say, I always like a smart man. And I would be lying if I said his sexy French accent or handsome face didn’t get to me… pretty much from the moment we said hello. Ah, l’amour!

  20. Irish Girl

    February 22, 2008 12:18 pm

    Happy anniversary! What a lovely wedding story 🙂

    I love that my D is patient, kind, hard working, a good listener, funny (!!!), and wicked smart. Great traits to pass along to children and (much to my benefit) to have found in a life partner. Lucky me. Lucky you. Enjoy your wonderful sounding man, PJ. I’m so glad you two are together on this crazy ride that is life.

  21. May

    February 22, 2008 8:05 pm

    What a lovely story. I’m so happy for you.

    H is my still calm centre of the storm. Gentle, thoughtful, loving, endlessly patient. And it doesn’t hurt that he’s beautiful and funny and clever. Oooh, no. Mmmmmmmm.

  22. Freyja

    March 5, 2008 3:37 am

    Great story. Prior to the wedding I ended up having my entire life I always assumed I would elope. I’m so not into nit-picky stuff. I will NEVER forget the look on the wedding planner’s face when she asked “So what kind of wedding did you have in mind” and I said “I dunno, I’ve never really thought about it”. Ha! Guess she never head that one before!

    What do I admire most about my man? His honesty, his integrity, and his sense of humor. He’s a fundamentally good person.

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