You Found Me, How?

Who knew search engine reports could provide such unique insights into the human psyche? With millions of people wrestling with infertility – a condition that doesn’t exactly lend itself easily to discussions over the water cooler, it’s no wonder people turn to infertility blogs to gain some perspective and/or camaraderie.  “My people” are easy to spot with definitive Internet searches such as these that lead them my way:

• Living with infertility
• To be infertile in our world
• Coming to terms with being childless

Then there are those in search of information who pose questions.  I’m happy to answer to the best of my ability. Here we go…

Husband is infertile is it ok to feel ripped? YES! How can you not feel ripped when you’ve likely been on birth control somewhere along the line and now you find that it was lost money that could have been allocated to your infertility treatment fund?  Seriously, I understand how you feel. My guy and I both have conditions that led to our combined infertility. I feel ripped for all of us.

I’m nearly 40 what can I expect my biological clock to make me feel? Well, so much to say here, but I’ll keep it to tips. You’re going to notice that the time between your cycles will begin to shorten and that means PMS symptoms will come more often. So stock up on the potato chips and other salty snacks, and you just might want to switch to herbal tea. Caffeine can often exacerbate those mysterious ‘mone rages.

What to eat before embryo transfer? Whatever the heck you want, sister. You’ve just been through weeks of an agonizing drug injection regimen that included more than a few doctor visits requiring you to be naked under a paper gown. Indulge yourself.

How do you know when you’re done having children? Honey, I can’t tell you how to have them let alone tell you how to know when you’re done. Keep searching. There are millions of mommy blogs out there.

Then there are those searches that just stump me. I can only guess what these individuals are thinking.

Childfree Porsche – Okay, you’ve had a bad run of infertility treatments and now you just want to reward yourself with a sporty car that says ‘I don’t even have room for kids so don’t even think about asking me that question!’

“Average salary” “reproductive endocrinologist” – You’re a med student, right? And you’re trying to figure out just how many wings you’ll be able to afford on your mansion since the market forces will allow you to charge as much as you want to take advantage of a couple’s suffering. Nice. Really, nice…move on buddy.

Size 00 – Honey, eat something. Life is too short to live it as a skeleton.

And we’ll close with one more from “my people” …

Pregnancy Magnet – You, too? Sucks, doesn’t it? The pregnant chicks always seem to know how to find us ‘infertiles’ don’t they?  I dunno. We must have some weird magnetic force field surrounding us that draws them our way.