Hormonal Havoc & Useless Ovulation

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hormonal havoccranky. Cranky. CRANKY.

I’d like to attribute it entirely to jet lag, but that would be too easy and not altogether accurate.

No. I think it’s driven in part by ample time to think — something I haven’t had the time for in the last month — and something else: useless ovulation.

While I got to see my guy for 48 hours upon my return from 10 days on the road, he left Sunday night and is now in Moscow — with a hotel view of the Kremlin. Seriously. We really must do a much better time of synchronizing our schedules. With some serious work email piling up, I spent Monday taking care of business. At 7:00 pm though I officially started a few days of vacation.

Yep. I’m solo for the next few days. Taking some quiet time to recover and recharge my batteries seemed the right thing to do after an intense weekend with family and an equally demanding work week in a place that was eight hours off my usual time zone and where I was the novelty for having an accent.

Must focus on relaxing. Glass of wine. check. Chocolate. check. Favorite tunes on the iPodius. Check. So what gives?

Well, pull up a chair girlfriends. I ovulated yesterday afternoon. I’m not kidding. At this point in my life, I don’t need any stinking ovulation kits to tell me what’s going on with my plumbing. Trust me, I just know.

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And damn if it didn’t send me into thinking about the fact that my body still thinks it’s supposed to reproduce. Come ON bod — get with the program! Didn’t you get the memo!? It’s not going to happen, okay? Stop with the cramping and throwing out useless eggs. You’re not fooling anybody and you’re totally messing with my mind.

Good thing I splurged on a nice bottle of wine. Okay, Coldplay, Sophie B. Hawkins, Jason Mraz. It’s up to you — take me somewhere else, please.


Writer, blogger and, oh, yeah, infertility survivor. My memoir, Silent Sorority, tells the whole story. There's a movie in there somewhere. I'm thinking Jennifer Lawrence plays me.

16 Replies to “Hormonal Havoc & Useless Ovulation

  1. so harsh the tricks our bodies play. cruel in a very real way. I mean, if your hub was home and you jumped him, would you still be wondering if maybe you could have created that last chance miracle child?

    hope you can spoil yourself for a few days and enjoy some down time.

  2. oh man. All the years of being able to TOTALLY know what is going on ‘down there’… I try to remember all the years that I had no clue about my ovulation schedule. But I guess we can never go back.

    it just sucks.

    Maybe if you play the music loud enough it will drown it all out. That or the wine.


  3. I’ve been getting really strong O pains the last 6 months or so… it’s like my body just wants to mock me. 😛

  4. I just wrote a post along these lines a few days ago, about AF taking her sweet time to come & dh’s anxiety over it all. Once I would have been filled with hope; now, at 47, I’m just annoyed, lol (at AF/my body, & at him, for being so deluded). Have a great “me time” vacation! — sounds like you’ve earned it!

  5. Stupid body.
    I wish there were some sort of simple on/off switch.
    Thank god for good bottles of wine.

  6. I freaked out once when I thought I wasn’t ovulating at all – and now along with ovulation I get very very cranky. Cranky cause it’s a waste of time and cranky I still have to feel go through this hormonal roller coaster and count my grey hairs and crap, I gotta go, I’m out of wine.

  7. D*mn body. As if there was supposed to be some link between mind and body … Oh wait. There IS supposed to be a link. Well, guess my mind AND body never got that memo.

    Have a glass of wine (or 2 or 3) for me as well.

  8. Your girl and mine need to read the memos together and stop the useless tease-act.

    Please pass the wine and crank up the Coldplay.

  9. Mind/body connection, you say? There’s definitely something passive aggressive and dysfunctional going on between them, that’s for sure. I’ve often suspected that our bodies lie awake at night thinking of ways to f*ck with our minds. I’m sorry you’ve been caught in the crossfire again. Hope the wine does the trick…

  10. Oh, yes, I know that feeling. It makes me furious that after all these years, I still have to go through the crap of ovulating, menstruating, etc. — and for what? At least now there is the potential every once in while that I’ll go three months without it. Small consolations. Yeah, perimenopause!

  11. Very Well Put!!! I’ll remember your helpful words when my O comes around.

    Meanwhile-Bottoms Up!

  12. So much for the “body-mind connection” eh? Hope the wine, chocolate and music helped soothe. When I first saw the caption, I thought you were referring to the big Oprah (apparently Martha Stuart’s daughter will be on talking about her own infertility). Yup I programmed the ol’ vcr! Will report back any interesting tidbits.

  13. Wine and music – saviours of many a moment. Enjoy yours, til the guy gets back, and the mind/body gets sane again.


  14. Flipping bodies. It’s like they’re trying to tease us.

    Enjoy your peaceful few days, the wine and the music. Nothing like it.

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