The upside of vacation is time to think. The downside of vacation is time to think. And I’ve been doing more thinking than usual. That usually gets my husband nervous. And for good reason. Toss in a little PMS and I can be all but combustible. Poor man, he really deserves a peaceful vacation.
Most months I can read the telltale PMS signs. They’re like most signs — orange with black letters. When the hormone monster begins to take shape I make it clear I need a wide berth. I advise accordingly. (I’m nice that way, I think it’s best for everyone to know what they’re dealing with … you know something along the lines of: Warning – ‘Mone Surge, Proceed with Caution.)
Okay, now try: Self-actualizing. On vacation. With PMS.
Not. An. Easy. Thing. To. Do.
First I have to calm down the ‘mone monster. Lose the Pamela who would like to exercise some aggression and locate the nice Pamela, the one who wants to self-actualize. The one who wants to be make barren beautiful. (Oh, in case you need to be reminded, I’m a Gemini — twins, remember?)
I fully admit that I’m a work in process. Some days I make huge progress. Other days not so much. Yesterday I think I made some progress and it happened in the middle of a massage. A great deep tissue massage. A beat me up until I’m not sure that maybe I’m not a masochist massage.
Little Liz, a tiny slip of a thing, was working me over something fierce and then asked in a gentle voice, have you ever been Rolfed?
Ah, Rolfing (aka Structural Integration). I did a little research into this a few years ago when I was at the end of my rope with infertility making me half mad — husband would likely say three-quarters or more mad.
Rolfing is something of a mind-body thing started by Dr. Ida Rolf a biochemist who was influenced by osteopathy, physical therapy, and yoga as a form of bodywork. The goal is to improve health by bringing segments of the body into proper alignment. Here’s what one website had to say about it:
physical changes in the body, it affects the whole person. We are
made up of emotions, attitudes, belief systems and behavior
patterns as well as the physical being. All are related. Align the
physical structure and it will open up the individual’s potential.
Clients often report positive changes, stating less stress, greater
self-confidence and improved ability to handle life’s changes.”
Ah, yes, “life’s changes.” More to the point, how about when life kicks you in the head!?
Liz told me that quite often people with chronic muscle tension (yours truly) need more than massage. That’s because muscles have memory and store up negative energy associated with those memories. The only way to fully release the muscles is to confront the memories, work them over (a combination of physical and emotion massage so to speak) and let them go.
These thoughts immediately leaped to mind: Infertility? Negative energy. Some un-actualized anger and sadness perhaps??
I admit it sounds a little more new-agey than this Midwesterner-born girl is usually comfortable with, but after the deep tissue massage with Liz — who herself has been trained in Rolfing — I could feel some emotional release. Now that very well could have been my hormones surging, but I’m giving the Rolfing thing some consideration.
Anyone out there heard anything good, bad or indifferent about it?
In the meantime, I’m going to try not to hurt anybody.
* * * *
Okay, this should help tame the ‘Mone Monster a bit. I learned that my blog made the list of Top 100 Women’s Health Blogs from the Nursing School Search website. And I’m not alone in the infertility category. Got some good company. Check out the list.