We’ve all been there. Lost and eager for answers — or at a minimum some guidance on those “where do I turn?” days. When things aren’t what they seem. When you have only bits and pieces of information. When doctor visits and tests are both necessary and nerve wracking for what they might or might not tell us…
The following email came from a new reader today and took me right back to my frantic earlier days. I asked if it would be okay to post the questions here and she agreed. I know the collective wisdom in our community can bring great perspective and support.
I recently came across your website. I hope you don’t mind me emailing you. First of all, I would like to tell you that after reading your blogs I truly think you are an amazing and strong women. That goes for your husband too. It’s nice to have someone stand beside you through all the ups and downs you encounter through life. He sounds like a great guy. I am 27 years old and my husband is 37. We have been trying to conceive for 3 years and it is so hard on me. My mom and dad are in their late 60s and have no grandchildren. My mom says there is nothing she wants from me but a grandbaby. There is nothing more I would like to do then to give them a grandbaby. I had an ectopic pregnancy when I was 20. I was young and foolish. My right tube could not be saved and was removed. So I am left with 1 tube.
To make a long story short, I have an appointment this Thursday to get a hysterosalpinography done. I am so scared and nervous. To top it off, my husband is leaving out of town the same morning of my appointment. I don’t want to seem like a cry baby but damn it, I need him to be here for me. If not physically then mentally. I try to talk to him about the appointment and I’m not getting much comfort from him. He really wants a baby too and this is something we have been trying for so long. It seems like his mind is on the trip he is going on.
I feel so alone and scared. I want to cancel the appointment and just give up. I was so excited about getting the test done and now I just feel like crap. Should I be feeling this way? Is this the right guy for me? Am I just realizing this after all these years? How could he seem so excited about having a baby and now that I need his support he is not there for me? Should I just cancel the appointment. I have a big fear that I will get bad news after the appointment. I get these really bad cramps. They hurt so bad I can’t walk or anything. My doctor says I could have endometriosis. I am a total wreck. I’m sorry to have taken so much of your time. You don’t have to respond to this e-mail if you don’t want to. I understand. Thank you for your time.
I’m going to provide my thoughts in the comments section and encourage you to do the same. There’s nothing like reassurance in a stressful, scary time is there?