An Infertile’s Guide to New Year’s Resolutions

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Instead of this New Year’s resolution:
Have carefully timed sex for procreation.
Make this one: Indulge in long-forgotten carnal pleasures with your significant other whenever the spirit moves you.

Instead of this New Year’s resolution:
Stock up on ovulation kits and other assorted infertility gear.
Make this one: Clean out the medicine cabinet once and for all and apply new savings to a wine club membership.

Instead of this New Year’s resolution:
Lose 10 pounds from hanging out with bored parents killing time by eating while their kids have the week off.
Make this one: Jump-start the economy – shop and show off your non-mom body in killer outfits all on sale at bargain basement prices.

Instead of this New Year’s resolution:
Sucking it up when smug moms make the wrong assumptions about why you don’t have children.
Make this one: Devise one-liners to put smug moms in their place.

Instead of this New Year’s resolution:
Spend free time researching fertility clinics and protocols.
Make this one: Spend free time napping, exercising or planning your next weekend getaway.

Instead of this New Year’s resolution:
Give up chocolate.
Make this one: Give up guilt (and its sister, blame).

Instead of this New Year’s resolution:
Suit up to fight feelings of failure.
Make this one: Banish feelings of failure from your emotional repertoire and accept that joy and fulfillment are possible once again.

Note: Encourage you to add your own replacement resolutions in the comments section below.

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18 Responses

  1. luna

    December 28, 2008 9:32 pm

    love these!

    I resolve never to make any more new year’s resolutions that make me feel less adequate for not having fulfilled them later.

    wishing a happy and peaceful new year to you and yours!

  2. Donna

    December 29, 2008 4:11 am

    These are great! Instead of feeling like a failure because my reproductive system didn’t work as advertised, I resolve to remember all of my accomplishments instead.

  3. MLO

    December 29, 2008 8:05 am

    Wonderful resolutions.

    I just wrote my 2008 wrap-up post and my 2009 resolution post when I decided to check out your blog. Yours is a wee bit (ok, a lot more) positive than mine. But, I was sort of moved by the Spirit to write the 2009 one.

    You have really mastered blog writing!

  4. stepping up

    December 29, 2008 1:47 pm

    Perfect, PJ.
    I like the second one. My DH just got me a case of wine for my birthday. I’ll make the most of it in 2009!

    Happy New Year to all.

  5. WaterBishop

    December 29, 2008 5:11 pm

    I have actually done all of those. Lol. Except the spirit never really moves me to pursue carnal pleasure, but I am sure if I eat more of the chocolate and have another bottle of wine it will. 😉 Does anyone have any suggestions for a space saving wine rack?

  6. Deathstar

    December 30, 2008 6:03 am

    I love, love, LOVE this post! It’s unbelievably refreshing!!!!

    Instead of….averting my eyes at every pregnant belly

    Make this one: Look straight ahead and don’t even notice them (like I did when I was 25!)

  7. Alacrity

    December 31, 2008 12:14 am

    Mine is like Deathstar’s:

    Instead of last year’s “avoid exposure to pregnant women at all costs” my 2009 resolution is to “have so much fun that I hardly notice pregnant women, and if I do, immediately think about the fabulous glass of wine I will be able to have with dinner.”

    Love this list PJ – a great reframing exercise!

  8. Michelle

    December 31, 2008 4:03 am

    Awesome! I was just talking to hubby about my New Years resolutions…Guess I should try to remember these and use these instead! LOL! Thanks! Have a great New Year! 🙂

  9. monica lemoine

    December 31, 2008 3:25 pm

    Very nice – all of these are brilliant. If you come up with a list of any of those one-liners to put others in their place, let me know.

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