You see, more than a few of my favorite women in the blogosphere have recently gotten the dreaded BFN — the Big F#*KING Negative — following recent IVF and FET procedures. A few others have had BFPs cruelly snatched away in the early days. I don’t want to name names without their permission, but suffice to say they are in Taipei, Australia, and scattered throughout North America. They deserve so much better, and it makes me sad and angry to know they’re in a world of hurt.
So, listen up Universe (and don’t get too far away Mother Nature — I’ve got a few choice words for you, too!)
Aren’t there some wars you can end? Some bad guys you can mess with? They seem to be everywhere these days. I can point you to a few on Wall Street and then there are the usual suspects…
Look, I know no one ever promised us rose gardens but, really, don’t you have better things to do than to torment delightful, smart, hard-working, all-around amazing women who just want to get pregnant and deliver a child they’ve worked really, REALLY hard to create? They’ve gone the extra mile and then some. Why are you making this otherwise straight forward process so damned hard to do? If I didn’t know any better I’d be convinced you’ve got some deals worked out with the makers of Kleenex, not to mention those profiting from the whole fertility practice, medicine and paraphernalia supply chain.
Mess with me all you want. I’ve developed a pretty thick skin and I’ve got the coping thing well in hand now, but my little sisters, they’re just trying to figure all this stuff out and you’re being no better than a bully.
And, Mother Nature? Your performance is just plain unacceptable. I know you can do better. You’ve been behind some pretty marvelous creations. It’s not like what’s being asked for here is outside the bounds of your day to day operations. Surely you can get with the program. This slacking has got to stop!
In all seriousness, the body blow that comes with a BFN, well, it’s nearly impossible to describe or to fully comprehend unless you’ve lived it. My heart goes out to those trying to make sense of these gut-wrenching results. I wish them strength and peace.
And to those who read this blog, please be mindful of these lovely women. I know it’s a hard request to act on. That’s because you never know where you’ll find them … but they are among you, quietly making their way through their day to day routines, picking up the pieces and pushing forward.