Just for the record, I do think about a whole bunch of things that have absolutely nothing to do with broken reproductive systems, but given the charter of this blog … infertility is what I write about here.
It’s not surprising, then, that as I read and contemplate I’m on the lookout for useful blog material. Just this morning I came across this passage in today’s New York Times:
“It’s easy to feel that one isn’t working hard enough, that one should try harder … To rebel publicly, even to engage politically, would mean exposing your own inadequacies, so most people just hunker down and keep plugging away …
As our shame grows, we shutter ourselves inside. Afraid of acknowledging our anger and unable to join those similarly suffering, we grow distant. Worse, we judge quickly and harshly the actions of others; we devolve into snark, which will never lead to meaningful change.
To restore our social bonds, each one of us must overcome our isolating feelings of embarrassment and humiliation and understand that this is a shared plight. We’ll also have to accept that anger, real anger, has a role to play in producing collective catharsis and fostering healing.”
You might be surprised to learn that this was an opinion piece written by a sociology professor from Columbia on today’s economic crisis. There are some eerily familiar parallels to the infertility experience here wouldn’t you say? Some good food for thought, perhaps?
Now just to prove that I’m about more than my reproductive capacity, I’m off to find the sunscreen. It’s a perfect day for a long hike. I’ll be back to join in the conversation later my dear Internets.
Updated: During my Sunday hike, I had more time to think about the NYT passage. I firmly believe anger can play an important role in catharsis. If rage is channeled in a way that doesn’t cause anyone else harm, the energy from it can get us up off the couch and doing something about overcoming our “plight.” Hiding from it and pretending it’s not there only causes it to fester or weigh us down. This reminded me of an NPR segment that highlighted a place where people can air out their anger — where they can seriously break things. The place is called the Smash Shack down in San Diego. Can you imagine if there was a room dedicated to infertility? I’m sure the line would be out the freakin’ door.
Hey! Let’s go for a virtual plate throwing here! You get to write on the plate the focus of your anger. What would your plate(s) say? The first plate I’d throw would be for Mother Nature cheating women out of their biology…now, you.
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Update #2: You can also read and comment on my latest Fertility Authority post — now on the home page: You Know You’re on Your Best Behavior When…that talks about “fertile” behaviors that have the potential to drive infertiles mad. Feel free to add to my list.
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