Hell Hath No Fury Like a Womb Scorned


It’s been quite a while since I felt compelled to include a blog post in the “Memo to the Fertile Community” category, but what comes next fit like a glove and then some. BTW: credit for the blog post title goes to my guy.

There I was last week innocently starting my Sunday morning, feeling all it’s Sunday! I was about to pour a large mug of coffee and dive into The New York Times when … BAM.  imgresYou can read what happened next at Open Salon along with some interesting comments.

I also encourage you to check out Loribeth’s post, The Dark Side of Positive Thinking, which highlights Barbara Ehrenreich’s new book: Bright-Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America. I, too, saw Barbara interviewed by Jon Stewart and loved her characterization of the “empathy deficit” that exists in today’s society. Take it from one who knows, the right response when someone is going through a particularly rough patch is to acknowledge it, not try to minimize it. Minimizing bad experiences with a thinly-veiled redirect or worse, a partronizing pep talk about staying positive, only serves to make the person feeling bad feel worse.

Now go on and have whatever kind of day you need…


See also  The Time Warp

9 Responses

  1. Christina

    October 14, 2009 12:41 am

    The article was typical NY Times — as when six or so months back they ran a feature on a very wealthy woman who’d had a genetic baby carried by a surrogate — and photographed the family with a dark-skinned servant in the background.

    My best takeaway from this piece came from the kinder commentators — that if insurance-paid IVF covered successive single embryo transfers, these costs would be avoided. Also — one of the commentators talked about freezing the extra embryos as a means to avoid long and expensive drug cycles.

    But the way the article was framed had the inevitable effect of inflaming readers by stressing the expense.

    On balance, though — I’m glad the Times is finally highlighting the difficulty of IVF treatment, the randomness of coverage, and the fact that it’s a serious problem for middle class people.

    • Pamela Jeanne

      October 19, 2009 5:57 pm

      Thanks, Kami! I look reading your review — and yes, Barbara’s book is going onto my reading list…

  2. Adrienne

    October 19, 2009 5:17 pm

    I really want to read Barbara Ehrenreich’s newest book–loved Nickle and Dimed in America. Anyway, I have thought for a while that Americans are not the empathetic group they are portrayed to be–if it does not affect me but is going to cost me something, then I do not care about it. I hope the book reminds us that most of us all are fighting “lonely” battles. A little empathy goes a long way . . .

  3. battynurse

    October 20, 2009 3:12 am

    So true. I’ve been around people who just couldn’t acknowledge what was happening, they had to point out the bright side or something along the whole meant to be.

  4. Rachel Gurevich

    October 20, 2009 7:39 am

    Hi! Always read your blog, don’t always comment, but I had to say, “Here, here!” to your comment on positive thinking. I had this very experience recently, not on the topic of infertility, but still. It was said, “Worrying will do no good.” Umm, yes, but holding in your emotions and feelings is even worse! The whole “positive thinking can change reality” thing gets to me, and I loved the interview on Jon Stewart. I loved when she said to him that delusional thinking is never a good thing, when he asked her if it’s such a bad way of thinking if it makes a person feel good (to think that positive thoughts may actually chance the future.)
    In any case, I’m rambling — but wanted to say I hear ya!! 🙂

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