Finally Heard: A Silent Sorority Finds Its Voice

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Finally Heard: A Silent Sorority Finds Its VoiceFinally Heard: A Silent Sorority Finds Its Voice is an intentionally short ebook designed in the Kindle Singles model. It incorporates wisdom from ‘Generation IVF’ designed to spark discussion about infertility and the little discussed aftermath of fertility treatments.

Behind the Writing

My life changed after emerging as a reluctant spokeswoman on infertility in 2008. The transformation started when a health reporter from The New York Times asked if I’d be willing to openly discuss my infertility experience. I described the stubborn persistence of the condition and the lack of a cultural framework to process the losses. An accompanying health feature story produced astonishment and relief that someone was candidly addressing the trauma and legacy of infertility.

Soon thereafter I wrote what became an award-winning book called Silent Sorority. In the first memoir on infertility not authored by a mother, my writing explored the complicated, disenfranchised grief and identity issues following prolonged failed attempts to conceive. Now 10 years outside of the grief I once felt so viscerally comes Finally Heard: The Silent Sorority Finds Its Voice (May 1, 2015).

Finally Heard moves beyond the personal to examine the complex interrelationship of the psychological, social and cultural implications of ‘Generation IVF.’ Click To Tweet Today’s cultural preoccupation with parenting and the growing commercial focus of the for-profit fertility industry has birthed a fear-driven patient/consumer population and society ill-equipped to process reproductive failure. Finally Heard makes clear that the disproportionate emphasis on ‘magical thinking’ has bred an expectation of parenthood that makes pushing forward in a different direction seem like giving up rather than succeeding at something truly remarkable: reinvention.

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Read early reviews here.


Writer, blogger and, oh, yeah, infertility survivor. My memoir, Silent Sorority, tells the whole story. There's a movie in there somewhere. I'm thinking Jennifer Lawrence plays me.

4 Replies to “Finally Heard: A Silent Sorority Finds Its Voice

    1. Dear Vanessa,
      I can recommend two very compassionate online communities that provide a ‘walled garden’ place to share and connect and find support. Lisa Manterfield and her LifeWithout Baby //
      and Jody Day’s Gateway Women //
      I have registered and participated in both over the years. Can highly recommend…
      Meanwhile, just know that you are not alone! xo

  1. CONGRATULATIONS on your second book, Pamela! I still remember one huge light bulb moment when I was reading Silent Sorority (and funny thing is, the security word for my comment is sorority HA HA…) and how it’s helped me tremendously. It’s when you talked about the difference between losing a job/house versus not being able to have your own children. That was the first time I thought to myself, “No wonder I feel so shitty!”

    So keep on sharing and writing, Pamela. 🙂

  2. Thanks Pam for sharing! My husband and I are coming to terms that we aren’t having children. I wish my RE had prepared us for the aftermath of emotions that I was not expecting to feel. I saw a therapist to help me process our last failed attempt and although we tried for 3 years my husband and I had enough. We haven’t told my in laws yet who are hoping their only son will have children, but we are getting there.

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