An Act of Kindness

Yes, Virginia, There Are Lovely ‘Fertiles’ Out There



To: The Fertile Community
From: The Infertile Community
RE: Bridging the Chasm Caused by Infertility

We’re talking about you, and, I confess, it’s not always in a good way. We spend a fair amount of time in the infertility community sharing anecdotes about how little our “fertile” friends, family
and acquaintances “get us.” You give us lots of good material to work with. Just a few days ago, The Wall Street Journal (who would have thought?) had a blog post up, The Swell Season: Haunted by Reminders of Infertility, that provided some examples
of the typical casual dismissals and a few downright, huhs?

For instance someone (clearly fertile) likened infertility to “an allergy that you ‘should just accept’ and move on from…”

Um, I have allergies and I am infertile. So not even in the same ballpark.

And from the woman who had an easy pregnancy, “why shouldn’t I be able to gloat? I was the happiest pregnant woman out there and only gained 15-18 lbs total.”

Is gloating ever a good thing? Heads up, gloating girl, here’s the definition: To feel or express great, often
malicious, pleasure or self-satisfaction.
Now I just hope your son/daughter doesn’t face infertility ’cause I get the feeling you’re not going to handle it very well…

To be fair there were also some comments surmising that infertility would likely be difficult to experience:  “I think that extended infertility and/or the thought that I would never have kids
would be pretty hard to take.” BINGO!

But in this time of brotherly love, I do want to highlight those who DO get us — one couple in particular shared a level of sensitivity and understanding that truly stands apart. They are the
latest recipients of the Coming2Terms Act of Kindness Award. …

Read Post →

Kind Mom Trumps Mean Mom


First, I’d like to thank Shaz and Loribeth for their shout outs and the Sisterhood Award. In turn, I’d like recognize those who take the time to participate in a meaningful conversation here on Coming2Terms.&hellip

Read Post →

My Mosaic Project Continues


A new year and with it the opportunity to take a look back at where we’ve come from and, perhaps more importantly, point ourselves in the direction we’d like to go. For some of us&hellip

Read Post →


Opposing (and Kinder) Points of View


Newsflash: National Infertility Awareness Week ends on a high note. While it was a kick in the head to get hard evidence (per my last post) that some people really do think infertiles are “weird&hellip

Read Post →

And Another Thing…


Editor’s Note: In fairness I did warn a few months back that while I was coming to terms with the whole broken uterus thing and what it’s done to me I would likely have some&hellip

Read Post →

Blog reader mail

Reader Mail: Infertility Affects More Than Infertiles


It’s been quite a while (April, actually) since we had an entry for the Act of Kindness category, but that’s just an oversight on my part. The “acts” have been happening from women who have&hellip

Read Post →

A Virtual Hug — From A Book


My response was visceral and immediate and caught me by surprise. As I read the following passage aloud to my husband I felt a sob building deep inside. Then it erupted into familiar tears. These&hellip

Read Post →

Shadow Boxing in the Wake of Failed Fertility Treatment


Today’s post concerns fighting. It’s something I hadn’t thought all that much about until Nancy, a fellow blogger, sent me a package in the mail.  It contained a pair of red boxing gloves. Attached to&hellip

Read Post →

Words of Chance, Caution and Kindness


The voice of the late 20-something echoed in the ladies room. “I wonder if I’ll be as laid back as Christina when I get pregnant…” When I get pregnant. A casual, off-handed expression of inevitability.&hellip

Read Post →

Infertility Shout Outs


In keeping with the spirit of National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) and those making a difference, I want to extend a few shout outs: To Ellen, the mother of a 10-month-old, who made a point&hellip

Read Post →