Tagged By emotions

The Game of Life

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Anyone out there remember playing the board game LIFE? It’s been years since I spun the wheel of fate, but during a visit with friends who have a seven-year-old daughter and nine- and 11-year-old sons&hellip

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Amadeus and The Ultimate Test

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Amadeus…

That’s a clue for my answer to some complex questions that came this weekend from Silent Sorority readers. The ideas and emotions contained in their questions were remarkably familiar — so
much so they could have come straight out of my own head a few years ago. I guess, by now, I shouldn’t be startled by the depth of the shared infertility experience. I’m sure they’ll evoke some deja
vu for you, too. The questions pose the ultimate test for infertiles who don’t succeed with treatment — overcoming anger and finding peace.

First came this email:

“I’ve been having a rough go of it lately and have been pretty messed up.It’s kind of the kick off of the fun family/kid centric holiday season and I know it’s always really hard for me.
Something you wrote about in your book and talk about at times is an issue that I’m dealing with. How did you move beyond the resentment of people who do have children? I absolutely hate
feeling this way. I’m even starting to resent my dr. and therapist, not good. I just see everyone with kids as having something I can’t, won’t. On some level, I understand it is the way it is
supposed to be. On the other hand, I just want to isolate myself from all those with kids. So frustrating,and impossible too! Does it just fade away?”

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A Belief in a Just World? Ah! That’s Why Fertiles Don’t Care

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I’ve been mulling over an idea sparked by the work of social psychologist Melvin Lerner. Mr. Lerner’s work surfaced in a recent New York Times piece. Curiously, the article had nothing whatsoever to do with&hellip

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bittersweet

Bittersweet Symphony

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Cause it’s a bittersweet symphony this life I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind , I feel free now&hellip

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Thrashing Out New Answers

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As I make my way through what has begun to feel like “grief central” a new set of thoughts and questions is surfacing. Why does the grief from infertility feel so substantially different from when&hellip

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Role Models and Putting Emotions Work

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I’m devoting this year to making huge leaps and bounds in managing my infertility and its legacy. For the first time since my IVF failures I am going to look to the future no longer&hellip

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Revealing the Elephant in the Room

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Infertility is like the elephant in the room. We all know it’s there but few are willing to acknowledge it. It strikes our sisters and brothers, our sons and daughters, our cousins, our friends, our colleagues&hellip

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children

Please Hold For The Children

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Children — especially preparing for them during fertility treatments — play a central role in our lives. When children don’t arrive it can be devastating. Can someone please turn off that annoying hold music? I’m&hellip

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Infertility’s Common Thread

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You can’t see my expression, but I’m smiling as I type. This isn’t the painted on smile I usually rely on. (You know the smile we use to pretend we’re happy when in reality we’re&hellip

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Lessons (So Far) On The Often Lonely, Maddening Infertility Journey

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Here we are: post 100. Pull up a chair, get a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, and join me for a look back. 100? I’m, well, a bit stunned. Seven months and counting since&hellip

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